Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
