Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
