I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
