So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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