is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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