yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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