ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
