This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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