i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
