We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
