Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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