I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
