You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My dick has a subreddit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
