Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
