I think my vagina is haunted
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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