every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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