Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
