i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
