They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
