I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
