There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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