He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
