also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
