watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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