I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
