had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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