White coat. Heels.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
