she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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