Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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