I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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