bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
