I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
