Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Pooping to opera.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
