Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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