what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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