she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
