i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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