3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
