remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
