i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
