He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
