Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
