at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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