if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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