I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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