dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
