I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
