So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
