It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
