im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
