Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
