theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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